Mirror of Zen Blog

Going Under

Leg surgery happens in less than two hours. They need to relieve pressure in my lower leg by removing a growing fibroid in my left calf. It is located deep in a sensitive area filled with nerves, directly behind and below my left knee. Hopefully, this will take away some of the extraordinary pain I have been experiencing in that leg during meditation for the last few years. I hope to be back on the cushion within a few days.

Having opted for a general anesthetic over the local – – who wants to be awake while a team of doctors slices through your calf while you are upside down with a catheter inside? – – it means a complete complete and total shut-off of consciousness. I am actually more fascinated about this part of the experience than anything else. Some disciples with knowledge of medical procedures have told me to inform the anesthesiologist that the “usual” amount of mind-altering substances (coffee, or other things, certainly alcohol back in the day) never really has the same effect on me as it does on others, due to all of these years and tends of thousands of hours, staring at the floor purposelessly, and that his medical cocktails in the standard dosage might not be sufficient, and that I should inform them of a need for a higher threshold.

Duly noted, and locked in.

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